awakeAuthor: Mari (
aquaangel)Character/Pairing: Rodney McKay/Carson Beckett
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Rating: PG-13
Warnings/Notes: Spoilers for episode 11 (The Hive) from season two. Happy Belated Birthday gift
dark_cygnet! Hope you liked, I tried to be short and sweet but the story decided to take a life on their own.Word Count: 630
Summary: A moment between Carson and Rodney while he’s in the infirmary withdrawing from the enzyme drug.
Beta by:
hermioneorourkePillar of Strength
"I need it!"
Carson sighed sadly from where he stood next to Rodney's bedside where his lover laid tied down onto the medical bed. "Rodney. I'm sorry, but like I told you before - we don't have any."
Rodney eyes turned frantic with each word. "What?" His eyes rapidly scanned the area around him. "No. No. No. I-" He tried to break his arms free. "I...I need to get out. Out....Don't you see? I need it Carson...Carson! I need more of the enzyme damn it!"
Carson eyes filled up with tears as he saw how distraught Rodney was. Seeing him in such state hurt him so much, even more so knowing he couldn't do anything but watch it pass. He lifted a hand to Rodney’s face, gently stroking his chin. "Rodney...shh love. Try to relax. It'll be okay soon."
Rodney stared at him with a confused look which turned into a disgusted frown as he pulled his face away from Carson touch. "No. Damn it no!" His breathing became rapid, but he kept on speaking. "You just like to watch me suffer don't you....You." His face was turning red as his voice kept getting higher and higher to the point where he started to scream at Carson, for the second time in that day. "You say....you say you love me. HA! Love...you don't love me. This is. You just want to see me in pain. See! I know what you're doing...You're just jealous of me. Jealous! You're a down right bastard. Can't you see I need it? Enzyme...Need enzyme...damn it. Give it to me!"
Carson was trying his best to keep Rodney still, but each word that was flung at him stung as if they were each a punch to his face. He swallowed, remembering that that wasn't Rodney. He was just confused and in pain. He couldn’t take it personally. No matter how much it hurts.
He looked down at Rodney, smiling sadly. "Love..." He touched Rodney's now trembling face again, as tears ran down his face. He wiped them away with his fingers, "You know that it isn't true." He saw Rodney tear glazed eyes staring at him in silence as he spoke, his voice almost breaking. "I love you more than you ever could know. If it meant giving my life up to ease you from this pain, I would love. I would do anything for you." He swallowed hard as he gave all his willpower to keep that soft smile on his face as he spoke. "Anything..."
Rodney swallowed; tears breaking free again as he turned away again from Carson’s touch, this time due to shame. "I know..." He turned back to face Carson, "I know....I know Carson. God, I know. It just hurts...I don't mean. You know. I...I'm sorry."
Carson bent down slightly laying a soft kiss onto Rodney's forehead. "I know love. I know."
"Will it go away?"
Carson inwardly prayed that it would. "Like I told you before, it'll pass."
Rodney groaned as he bit his lips trying not to scream out again due to the hunger. Carson looks down at him sympathetically. "I'll be by your side always Rodney. You won't be alone."
Rodney looks at him as more tears and agony over the drug overcame him. "You'll be....with me?"
"Always."
Rodney wished mentally that he could smile, but he was in so much pain. He could only weakly grasp one of Carson's hands that are near one of his, squeezing it as much as possible, all but crying out the next two words, "Love...you."
Carson couldn't hold back the tears that fell from his eyes, though a wider smile grew on his lips. "Love you too Rodney." He squeezed back the hand he was holding within his.
"Always have. Always will."
Fin